College is an exciting phase—new friendships, endless activities, and yes, the occasional crush that makes your heart race when you pass by him at the cafeteria. Watching teen rom-coms also doesn’t help your situation.
You just keep falling hard for your crush. Whatever series or movie you watch, you start imagining him as the protagonist and you as the girl trying to get him.
While situations in the series or movie may work conveniently in the favour of the actress, it is not always the case in reality.
So if you’re probably wondering How do I get him to notice me without feeling awkward or trying too hard?, please read on.
1. Declare Your Crush With Confidence
Confidence is magnetic. You may have a lot of competition with fellow girls who are crushing on your crush. However, what will set you apart from among them, is your confidence.
However, even if you have a confident personality, when looking at the crush usually we tend to lose our senses. We fumble our words or sometimes even go speechless. This is probably because you think he is out of your league. He is unattainable.
So what’s the most effective way to gain confidence?
Of course, you need to develop self-love. And if that seems like a long shot for now, go for a physical makeover.
When you feel pretty and fit, you tend to feel more confident, by default.
Hit the gym or do home workouts. Get yourself a great hair cut or colour your hair. Focus on skin-care. Sleep well. All this helps your skin to look fresh.
Speak affirmative statements about ‘how you are THE BEST’, in front of your mirror.
Start truly believing that you deserve the best.
Finally, when you find that confidence in yourself (and it doesn’t have to be 100% confidence), approach your crush and tell him you have a crush on him.
Tell him you just wanted to inform him and that he needn’t do anything about it. After declaring your crush just walk away.
By doing this you are getting yourself noticed by him and also you are giving him a subtle message that you can ‘live’ even without his validation.
This makes the boy think about you and want to know more about you.
I tried this with my college crush and suddenly I became his ‘go-to person’ to share his feelings and emotions. Eventually, I lost the crush I had on him lol as he became very approachable and attainable. However, it is likely that in your case you it may even turn into a relationship.
2. Find a Common Ground
Look for classes, clubs, or activities where your paths might cross naturally. Whether it’s a photography club, a debate society, or the gym, shared interests create a great starting point for conversations.
You don’t have to indulge in a hobby or activity that is not even remotely your interest. However, being from the same college, there must be something or the other you have in common with him.
The whole idea is for you to fall in his radar. Especially when you have to declare your crush on him, you need to be able to have an initial conversation. This can be done when you have something in common. In this way you may even get to know him a little bit before approaching him.
3. Use Body Language to Your Advantage
Before I even declared my crush to my crush, I would exchange glances. I would turn away the moment he would see me. Also, my friends would tease me with him and that would make me blush or even sometimes awkward when he’s around. Small gestures can send big signals.
I never really got the courage to smile at him, as I didn’t have a conversation with him yet. However, if you are comfortable in smiling at him when you make eye contact, go ahead do it.
Initiating a smile also displays your confidence. Based on his response, repeat it or skip it. If he doesn’t smile back, which is more unlikely, just ignore him for a while. We must not come across as desperate.
Your body language must convey that you are approachable and friendly but not clingy or creepy.
More than your lips, your eyes would make most conversation. If you want to play a bit of mind games, attract his attention with your gestures and go cold the next day. Then again show him attention. This will keep him guessing about you and not totally reveal what you feel toward him.
4. Strike Up Casual Conversations
Striking up casual conversation even after you have declared your crush is fine. Or if you are too shy to declare your crush, just having a friendly, casual conversation helps build a rapport.
If you, however, do not declare your crush, chances are you may be friendzoned. So at least declare your crush after a few casual conversations.
5. Show Genuine Interest in Him
People love when others remember the little things they’ve said. If he mentions a project or hobby, follow up later and ask how it went. It shows you listen and care, which is far more attractive than just focusing on your own stories.
I think this will come naturally if he’s your only crush. You might even follow him on social media and get to know his interests and get to know him better. This way while having a conversation you will be even more confident in showing that you remember things about him.
6. Build a Social Presence
Keep track of college events and other social groups. Attend events, join group hangouts, and be part of campus life. This makes it easier for him to see you in different settings and get to know you without pressure. You can even make common friends and get closer to his friends.
Get to know about him more, without his knowledge.
However, if you are an introvert, you would probably benefit by joining virtual clubs and groups and interacting. It is a perfect way to indirectly grab his attention and even impress him with your knowledge on certain topics.
7. Keep It Fun and Light
Crush by definition is supposed to be fun and light unlike love. Even if you are crushing on this guy hard, you must not take everything he does too personally. For instance, if he didn’t return your smile or didn’t show interest in your conversation.
If he doesn’t show any initial attention, interacting with his friends distributing your attention around in a casual way is recommended. Even if it affects you that he’s attracted to someone else or pays less attention to you, don’t show your demotivation in your actions or your expressions.
Be charming, active, casual, smiling and lighthearted around him. You must seem unaffected by anything he does.
Fun vibes create positive associations that make him look forward to being around you.
8. Being Too Available
Finally, do not be always present when he’s around. Being too available doesn’t leave room for mystery. Even if you are from the same class, you can still minimize your presence every now and then. This especially works, when you have already declared your crush for him.
Give him space to miss you. Balance your interest with your own hobbies, friends, and goals—it shows you’re independent and well-rounded. That is very attractive for a girl. Besides, by being focussed on many other things other than him, gives you room to develop your own personality in a positive manner. Otherwise, some girls just get so swayed by their crushes their whole world starts revolving around them. In the process, they miss out on so many other things life has to offer them.
In college, the best way to attract someone is to be yourself while making genuine efforts to connect. You don’t need to be “perfect”—just real, approachable, and confident.
Remember, the right guy will appreciate you for who you are, not just how you look or act.