When we ask the question, “Why do Indian men cheat?” it’s essential to start with a disclaimer: not all Indian men cheat. However, for those who do, the reasons often run much deeper than just “temptation” or “technology.”
Yes, dating apps, social media, and growing online access have made cheating easier. But they are rarely the root cause. The real reasons are tied to cultural conditioning, insecurities, personal desires, unmet emotional needs, and even unfair societal double standards.
In this article, we’ll explore nine powerful reasons why some Indian men cheat — illustrated with real-life examples and cultural context.
1. Fear of Losing Youth
For many men, youth is seen as the golden period of desirability. The thought of “settling down too soon” makes them believe they’re missing out. Many men feel that their younger years are fleeting, that after a certain age they won’t be as desired or attractive. This fear can lead to cheating under the rationalisation of “I need to enjoy my youth while I still can.”
- From my experience a married man on Tinder admitted, “After a few years, no one will look at me, so I must make the most of my youthful days.”
- Peer influence: In male friend groups, being a “one-woman man” is often ridiculed, while having multiple partners earns labels like playboy or player.
This cultural validation makes some men rationalize infidelity as part of enjoying their youth.
2. Patriarchal Conditioning and Historical Influence
Historically, Indian kings and noblemen often had multiple wives or concubines. For example:
- Emperor Akbar had several wives, many from different regions for political alliances.
- Raja Ranjit Singh of Punjab was said to have over 20 wives.
- Historically, polygamy was practiced among rulers and wealthy men. Though for most communities it’s now illegal (for Hindus, under the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 polygamy is outlawed), these societal norms can shape what men think is acceptable, even subconsciously.
- Cultural reinforcement: In male peer groups, there’s often laughter or mockery if a man claims he is a “one-woman man,” whereas boasting about multiple partners can bring admiration or status.
While times have changed, the patriarchal conditioning lingers — many men grow up subconsciously believing that male desire is not meant to be restricted to one woman.
3. Validation & Ego
One of the strongest motivators is validation — the need to feel desired, to know that even though one is in a committed relationship, one is still attractive, capable, in demand. It is one of the strongest drivers of cheating. Some men want to feel desirable beyond their committed relationship.
- My ex had Tinder on his phone even though we were exclusive. He said he just wanted to see if he matches with someone. His intention was curiosity. However, the reality is he wanted to see “if someone still wants me.” Just because they went into a relationship with someone, they think they can score even higher now.
- This ties into ego: success, attention, admiration feed self-esteem; being in a relationship is sometimes not enough reassurance.
When validation becomes addictive, it often escalates into cheating.
4. Insecurity & Inferiority Complex
Not all cheaters are confident “charmers.” In fact, many insecure men cheat out of fear.
- When a man feels he is “less” — by looks, status, education, or some other metric — he may assume his partner will leave him or cheat anyway. So he preemptively cheats, either as self-fulfilling prophecy or to regain a sense of control.
This has actually happened to my friend who is very pretty but her arranged marriage husband was not on par with her beauty. - Sometimes, such men choose partners who are less attractive or less confident than their spouse to cheat with, because it feels safer to their ego.
This stems from deep inadequacy rather than desire.
5. Sexual Experience Mismatch
This often happens in arranged marriages but can happen in love marriages too. Many Indian men expect women with limited past sexual experience. Yet, they may themselves have far more experience.
- After marriage, if sexual expectations don’t match, dissatisfaction grows.
- Instead of open communication, some men seek fulfilment outside.
This unfair double standard — where women are expected to be “pure” while men explore freely — still fuels cheating in Indian marriages.
6. The “Love vs. Lust” Justification
Some men draw a line between love and lust. They may say:
- “I love my wife, but sleeping with another woman doesn’t change that — it was just lust.” This is the excuse some men give. I have spoken to some on dating apps and they say they love their partners.
There was this guy who went to Goa for a vacation with his friends. He was newly married. He tattooed his wife’s name on his arm showed it to his wife who was in Mumbai via video call. The same night he goes to sleep with a Russian woman. He has absolutely no guilt about it. For him love and lust are different.
This double standard is problematic. If the same logic applied to women, most of these men would never accept it.
Yet, the mental separation allows them to justify cheating without guilt.
7. High Libido & Sexual Expectations
Some men have a higher-than-average sexual drive. Instead of communicating this need openly, they cheat when their partner cannot match their frequency.
- I know of a guy who cheated while his wife was pregnant, justifying it as “unavoidable” because she couldn’t have sex during that time.
- Ironically, these same men often hesitate to marry women with high libido, fearing they’ll cheat.
This mismatch in expectations, without open dialogue, leads to betrayal.
8. Losing Attraction After Marriage
Many women, post-marriage, juggle household duties, childcare, and in-laws — often leaving little time for self-care. Some men, instead of offering support or empathy, go ahead and cheat on account of “losing attraction” towards their partner.
- Rather than helping reduce her burden or hiring house help, they cheat with someone else.
- The fault here lies not with the woman’s appearance, but with the husband’s shallow outlook.
Empathy and partnership could strengthen the bond, but shallow expectations lead some men astray.
9. Lack of Appreciation & Emotional Neglect
Finally, many affairs begin because of a lack of appreciation.
- Small gestures like compliments, checking in, or romantic surprises fade in long-term relationships.
- When men stop feeling desirable at home, they may seek validation from colleagues, friends, or strangers who offer easy flattery.
This doesn’t excuse cheating, but it highlights how neglect in relationships can create emotional vulnerability.
What We Can Learn?
These 9 reasons show that infidelity isn’t just about lust or opportunity. It’s often about deeper needs, insecurities, and cultural conditioning.
- For men: Self-awareness, communication, and empathy are essential to avoid repeating these patterns.
- For women: While not responsible for a partner’s cheating, understanding these triggers can help strengthen communication and boundaries.
- For couples: Rekindling romance, sharing appreciation, and supporting each other’s emotional and physical needs are key to keeping temptation at bay.