Women have evolved through the years in many professional fields and with women empowerment happening even in third-world countries there should be no reason for women to be obligated to stick to a toxic relationship. However, they still do. But Why?
There are many reasons why women might choose to stay in a toxic relationship, and it’s not always easy to leave, even when they know it’s unhealthy.
Here are some of the most common factors:
1. Love & Attachment
Love and attachment are the primary reason why an audience fails to understand a mismatched couple sticking together with each other. These feelings only the two people involved can understand. It is worse if the love is one-sided in the couple. In that case, only that one person would understand. Many women deeply love their partner, despite the toxicity. They may hold onto the good memories and hope that things will get better
2. Hope That They Would Change
Many women love a challenge. They fall in love with men who are already showcasing toxic traits, just because these women love a challenge.
A man who is toxic gives you a challenge to improve and make him better. The man may also be toxic in a manner where he threatens he would do self-harm if she leaves. So the woman starts feeling that he’s so attached and controlled by her presence, that only she can save him.
Also, the toxic partner might apologize, promise to do better, or temporarily improve, giving false hope that there is room for improvement. These kinds of men have phases where they become real nice and apologise and it gives the woman reason to forgive him toxic behavior (that deep-down she knows will return in the near future).
3. Low Self-Esteem & Self-Worth Issues
Toxic relationships often involve manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse, which can make a person feel unworthy or unlovable. These issues can have deep roots even in their childhood where a parent or a mentor made them feel inadequate and shattered their self-confidence.
Over time, constant criticism or emotional abuse can lead to self-doubt, making them believe they don’t deserve better or they won’t find better.
4. Loss of Companion
Women are driven with fear or aging. This factor is universal and a woman doesn’t want to start from scratch at a later stage in her life to find a partner. Some people fear loneliness more than they fear staying in a bad relationship. They may think, “What if I never find someone else?”
Society also plays a pivotal role in making the single/divorced woman feel like a failure. Hence, they choose to be with the man who they have at that moment despite his many toxic traits.
5. Financial Dependence
If a woman is financially dependent on her partner, leaving might not feel like an option. If the toxic partner is providing her with financial needs, is able to give her a lifestyle that may not be possible on her earnings alone, that could also be a major point for sticking to that partner.
Not to say that all such women are gold diggers, it just means that money also does matter in many of the big decisions you take in your life.
6. Manipulation & Gaslighting
Many toxic partners use psychological manipulation to make their victims question reality.
Gaslighting can make someone believe that they’re overreacting or that they’re the problem, making it even harder to leave. Creating self-doubt in the women, creating low self esteem works in the favor of the toxic and often narcissistic partner who sets a trap for her that she never realises.
7. Societal Expectations
In some cultures or families, there’s pressure to “make it work” no matter what. Sometimes this is not even limited to families with lower financial statuses but also is true for families with businesses with millions of worth or even famous personalities. They would harm their reputation if they opt for divorce.
8. Fear or Harm
In abusive relationships, leaving can be dangerous. The toxic partner might threaten harm, making the person feel trapped. A boyfriend can threaten to use your private pictures on public portals. A husband may threaten to ruin the woman’s career or kill any guy she starts seeing in the future.
There could be instances when a toxic man may even go to the extent of physically damaging a woman’s appearance to make her unworthy of gaining a partner.
9. Children & Family
A woman might stay for the sake of her children, believing that it’s better to have two parents.
Fear of disrupting the family structure can make someone endure a toxic relationship longer than they should.
10. Trauma Bonding
In some cases, the ups and downs of a toxic relationship create a deep emotional connection, similar to addiction. The cycle of abuse (good times followed by bad times) can make it hard to break free. This has roots in some damaged childhood, a desperation for love, too many failed relationships in the past, being devoid of many protective loved ones and so on.
Final Thoughts
Leaving a toxic relationship is difficult, but recognizing the reasons for staying is the first step to breaking free. Support from friends, family, or professionals can help. No one deserves to be in a harmful relationship, and there are always options to build a healthier, happier future.
Even if you do not have the support that you need, you can rejuvenate and build yourself. You can be financially dependent. This is easier said than done. However, women should be willing to face the challenges that society poses on them in return for the peace of mind and contentment that you receive staying away from a toxic relationship. In due course of time you start gaining your confidence.
Just imagine you were married and have a beautiful baby girl. You care for her, give her the best education and make sure her life is devoid of struggles. Finally she dates a boy who drains off her positive energy, who makes her feel inadequate and you know he is toxic. Would you allow your daughter to continue seeing this boy? Why don’t you show the same love to yourself? Self-love is the only key to getting out of a relationship that has pseudo projections of love and only ends up being toxic to your well-being.